Birthing Class One - Is There Anybody Out There?

We had our first birthing class yesterday evening, and it went pretty well. There are ten couples in the class, but had we been sitting in the front row we would have never known anyone was behind us. They are so quiet! Luckily, Jack is there, and he's the coolest person in the place, of course, so at least I wasn't the only one laughing at things that were funny or asking/answering questions.

A few women seem extremely timid, and two in particular look like the mean moms you see on playgrounds or online that are mean/snarky to other moms because they do or do not breastfeed/co-sleep/whatever. They scowled the entire time. So I will stay away from them lest they beat me up and steal my lunch money. One thing's for sure, I think I was one of only two women in the room that smiled at any given time for the entire 2.5 hours. Except our instructor, who was nice and relaxed and kind of reminded me of my sister Pauline. But the longer the class went, the more you could see her mind saying, "really? this is my class? darn - I was hoping for a livelier bunch!"

Maybe they'll loosen up next week. I mean really, someone needs to tell these folks that they've gotta have a sense of humor or they're SUNK. I can tell you that if my husband and I had not laughed as much as we did the past 8 months it wouldn't have been nearly as fun. And it has been fun - pregnancy gave me The Stupids; but also, frequently, The Giggles.

Most of the stuff we talked about last night I already knew somewhat, but it was nice to get a clear answer - I find this much easier to retain and digest than reading the same information in a book (I never could get into on-line classes in college for this reason). Let's see, I did learn when to call triage after you go into labor, how the baby needs to be positioned to come out easily, and what effacement means exactly (and how it's different than dilation).

We watched a video of a couple going through labor and delivery - which was totally fine, but I cried a little when the baby came out (I always do when I watch a birth - I can be totally stoic all the way through and then I'm bawling as soon as they pop out). I felt like an idiot. No one else in the room cried. I was like, am I the only pregnant woman in here?

The relaxation and breathing stuff is very easy for me - after all, all we did first year in Voice was lie on the floor and learn how to breathe and do yoga, etc. Relaxation and breath control is all part of my training as an actor. Will I remember/be disciplined enough to do it during labor? Who the heck knows...that is the question of the year. The instructor had our partners massage us through "contractions", which was great! I love being massaged. If that's labor, bring it on!

Kidding. I'm kidding. Do not "bring on" labor. Please give me another 8 weeks. Thank you.

I'm looking forward to touring the birthing center. It will help to have a visual picture of where we will be. The hospital itself is quite lovely - at least the parts that we've seen, so here's hoping the birthing center will be a welcoming place.

And finally, BGB has a sense of humor. She started playing drums on my innards the minute the instructor started talking about - what else? - relaxation. I mean, not just random kicks and hiccups but all out, full speed jackhammer construction. This child is full of sassafras. If she turns out to be shy, I am going to be really, really surprised.