The Stupids - Symptomatic: Take Two
One symptom I may have forgotten to mention is what I affectionately call "The Stupids"; and what Jack affectionately calls, "thinking for two". This symptom showed up almost immediately at four weeks, and though its intensity has waned, it's still around in one form or another.
The Stupids takes many forms but the easiest description is brain fog. Things feel...hazy. I forget a lot of things. Suddenly after taking a prenatal vitamin every day for six months I couldn't remember to do so. I forget to floss. Lose my keys. Misplace earrings. Once after school I came all the way home on the bus only to remember too late that I had driven that day. This morning I found a fossilized cookie I'd placed in a purse pocket about two weeks ago. Come on: who forgets a cookie?
My voice teacher is taking a perverse pleasure in this development. She's always maintained that I have control issues, and that "it'll be nice to see this affect you insofaras not muscling through the work." And it has, to a degree. I am far less stressed about my homework and other things that I cannot control beyond attempting to do my best. Sometimes this is a relief; I've been fighting to be All That I Can Be for the last 15 years; attempting to please everyone through hard work and good behavior. I haven't always succeeded, and let's just say my twenties were full of bad choices (more on that later), but I've always been a planner; a worrier. I've always worried what other people think. Many times I have made choices just because I thought it would please someone else. Not now. Now I make choices for the Peanut, my name for the tiny athlete that is responsible for this. Most of the time, the primary choice is sleep, which doesn't always jive with what I need to do as far as homework. But most days I don't care. I trust it will all get done. And because I have proven myself to be a hard worker the last two and a half years, my occasional lapses only amuse, rather than provoke, my professors.
Perhaps this brain fog is there for a reason. Perhaps God knows that we can't do everything as strictly as before, because of possible harm to our Peanuts, and we need to be forcibly slowed down.
Of course, I would have told you about The Stupids in my last post. But ironically, I forgot.
The Stupids takes many forms but the easiest description is brain fog. Things feel...hazy. I forget a lot of things. Suddenly after taking a prenatal vitamin every day for six months I couldn't remember to do so. I forget to floss. Lose my keys. Misplace earrings. Once after school I came all the way home on the bus only to remember too late that I had driven that day. This morning I found a fossilized cookie I'd placed in a purse pocket about two weeks ago. Come on: who forgets a cookie?
My voice teacher is taking a perverse pleasure in this development. She's always maintained that I have control issues, and that "it'll be nice to see this affect you insofaras not muscling through the work." And it has, to a degree. I am far less stressed about my homework and other things that I cannot control beyond attempting to do my best. Sometimes this is a relief; I've been fighting to be All That I Can Be for the last 15 years; attempting to please everyone through hard work and good behavior. I haven't always succeeded, and let's just say my twenties were full of bad choices (more on that later), but I've always been a planner; a worrier. I've always worried what other people think. Many times I have made choices just because I thought it would please someone else. Not now. Now I make choices for the Peanut, my name for the tiny athlete that is responsible for this. Most of the time, the primary choice is sleep, which doesn't always jive with what I need to do as far as homework. But most days I don't care. I trust it will all get done. And because I have proven myself to be a hard worker the last two and a half years, my occasional lapses only amuse, rather than provoke, my professors.
Perhaps this brain fog is there for a reason. Perhaps God knows that we can't do everything as strictly as before, because of possible harm to our Peanuts, and we need to be forcibly slowed down.
Of course, I would have told you about The Stupids in my last post. But ironically, I forgot.
Unfortunately, I don't have good excuse for forgetting things, but at least we're both in the same boat now:)
ReplyDeleteSympathy pains?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thebabycorner.com/page/345/
xo